The things that went though my mind today

Before I start my list of thoughts; it was Diwali yesterday, for those who didn't know. There were fireworks going on for most of the night. Our dog, Bella, is terrified of a couple of noises - namely fireworks, cars going around the racing-track nearby and vuvuzela's. This is how she sat for the majority of last night.

As for my thoughts...

• Mom, please don't make me get out of this bed to drive you somewhere.

• Nicole, stop being a bad daughter. Get out of bed. Good.

• Why do I choose to eat so much McDonalds?

• Actually, don't eat the McDonalds even though you bought it. GIVE ALL THE FOOD AWAY.

• Why don't I spend enough time with my sister?

• Oh, that's why. 

• The extremity of how bad my eyesight is is beginning to scare me.

• Why is This Is Not That Blog so funny?

• Why am I such a bad artist that I can't even get my stickmen to look right?

• What if my roommates boyfriend kills me next year?

• What if I have a screaming match with him at a club and can't go home?

• Where will I go? Who will I stay with?

• F. Scott Fitzgerald is my inner soulmate. I'm sure of it.

• I think I'm in love with Justin Bieber. What?! Shut up, subconscious! You don't know what you're saying! It's the exam-boredom!

• Oh no wait, I'm still hooked on Keanu Reeves after watching The Matrix last night.

• What's for dinner?

• And Robert Downey Junior because he's just heaven on earth.

• Am I into older men?

• No, Nicole.

• I'm going to read all of the books that Charlie was given to read in Perks of being a Wallflower.

• I'm ready to be mind-f***ed by Existentialism again. Hello, Albert Camus.

• I hope the world doesn't end in December.

• Will I be going to Germany next June/July?

The last thought was the point my mind exploded purely because of how overwhelming it is. Uhm, hello?! Germany?! My dream come true. Watch this space, kids.

So - that was my day. Studying really is getting to me, clearly. I feel like I have cabin fever. I am practically living for November twenty-sixth when I can be free of this psychological, emotional oppression I am under.

Some people think I tend to be a bit of a drama queen. Sometimes I disagree. Right now I do not.

I will leave you with a quote I found today by Fitzgerald - he really is my favourite. It's quote from his book Magnetism - I haven't read it yet but it's on my list.

'Think how you love me,' she whispered. 'I don't ask you to love me always like this but I ask you to remember.'

'You'll always me like this to me.' 

'Oh no; but promise me you'll remember.' Her tears were falling. 'I'll be different but somewhere lost inside me there'll always be the person I am tonight.' 

Alcohol - always a good time

Guess what I just booked myself in for on Saturday?

A tour at the SAB World of Beer. Yes, friends, this is happening.

I've recently taking to drinking beer after a wonderful experience with it a couple of months ago. I've also taken to suppressing the health-freak inside of me that reminds me that every time I drink one beer, I am also eating one loaf of bread. Hush, little freak, hush.

This is also something to add to my Project Joburg - something I have been falling short on, unfortunately. However, I probably have about a month left in Joburg before I pack up and move to Cape Town (I'm thinking mid-December is a decent time to move - in order to get the stress out of the way so that I can enjoy my December holidays elsewhere in the world). Having a month left in this place that I have lived for eight years, I have a couple of things planned, including this SAB World of Beer Tour.

The tour sounds quite fascinating.

Photo source

• A digital surround-sound welcome by Charles Glass, found of South Africa's very own beer, Castle Lager.

• An education on ancient times and their involvements with beer. For example, the ancient world's offering of beer to the gods.

• Meeting Nobantu, a fine beer maker in a small African village, and listening to her as she shows you how to brew sorgum beer which can be sampled after the show.

As well as learning about...

Photo source

• The culture of beer in Europe.

• The arrival of beer in South Africa.

The part I'm probably the most excited for...

• A step into the world of a Sowetan Shebeen.

But wait, I spoke too soon...

• And after the tour has come to a finish, you can sit back and enjoy the view and experience of Newtown with a complementary glass of beer (or two) in hand.

Quite the show it seems, doesn't it? Alcohol - always a good time.

Face to Face

I don't know where anyone would be without family - especially myself. I am convinced I have the most supportive family in the world. I don't get to see most of them that often, as we are all spread out all over the world, but we are still as close as anything.

One of the people I turn to in life is my uncle. I'm been speaking to him a lot about my life, my future, and the journey through life with all its dark times and happy times. He sent me an email a couple of days ago that I just had to share a part of it. It's full of wisdom, intellect, experience and complete sincerity.

I was also amazed / proud of your thinking around finding yourself on your OWN terms. Again, you are wise beyond your years as not everyone has the clarity of thought to even do this / realise this is something we need to do. We live in a society where we have a desperate need to be 'accepted' (naturally, no great surprise there) - the hassle is that we sometimes needlessly 'take on board' things that we believe will get us accepted more readily. Problem is that we do this unconsciously pretty much all the time and over a long period of time. Then one day you open your eyes and realise you might have been sleep walking through your life and you have (somehow) gotten in to a position where you are living by a certain set of ideals that aren't yours and don't fulfil your spirit / being. Life has taught me that there are no absolutes really and that your character is very much shaped by the society and set of circumstances around you - simply put the person you are now will NOT be the person you are in ten years time, life will have changed your thoughts, people will have challenged your ideas and ideals and you will have been moulded. All that said, before you leap out into the bigger and wider world spending time working out who you are, what your values are and how you want to live your life is VERY important. If you are able to come up with your defining broad level principles you will be able to make better informed decisions further down the road that mean you remain true to yourself.  

I understand too your desire to get on out into the world and give it a good shake - after all that is where all the action is! I absolutely guarantee you there are a myriad of possibilities, countless different avenues you can journey down and lovely / weird / downright strange people you will meet. You will find so many versions of 'the truth' as there are as many 'realities' as you care to imagine. Now, linking to the above paragraph, if I was ever to offer up some advice it would be, before you set off on that next adventure, spend quality time defining what YOU want to get out of life and what you want YOUR life to look like. Spend time to define it broadly, take on views and opinions of wise people around you and come up with a 'road map' that kind of sets out your path to achieving your goals, dreams and aspirations. One goal might be to be a University graduate and to do something amazing in the world of medicine etc. Once you have all that broadly defined, and as you set out and meet all these different realities / people / ideas you merely have to refer to your 'road map' to ensure you remain 'true' to yourself. I took much longer than one year's 'gap' between high school and training as a finance person - and I can't tell you how many paths I ventured down in that time. In some ways it was a miracle I actually came back to train up to do something other than just following my nose. Some of those who I journeyed with in that particular period of life didn't choose to train up further - they seemed happy to go where ever it was that the wind seemed to blow them. In my opinion that was not the wisest decision as, in choosing that approach, you aren't REALLY in control of your destiny. I still know a few of them and they are the first ones to admit that they messed up on the opportunities they had earlier in life.  

I smiled at you saying that you are in the middle of your glory years... I view is that I am (now) in the middle of MINE (albeit at the advanced age of 40!). Made me realise that perhaps there is no specific time in life that can be considered true 'glory' years but perhaps the answer is - or the challenge should be - to ensure we live the WHOLE of our lives as one long 'glorious life'! How amazing it must be to be able to get to the end of our allotted time on earth, to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I became all I could be"...  

Do you remember a Kings of Leon song (song was 'The Immortals') that I asked you to listen to when you were here for Xmas last year (doubt you will)?? I asked you to listen to it because the words are challenging you to pretty much what you (and I) have been writing about in the last few emails. In essence they are about finding out who you are 'face to face' (my interpretation of that line is that finding out who you are in not something you do in your posse of friends, it is something you do in the mirror - by yourself) and being prepared to wade into life to the fullest extent.

Anyway, the lyrics are pasted below - read 'em through, listen to the song then get out there into the world, make good decisions, don't be afraid to make mistakes and become all you can be.

I would not trade my family for anything. They make me a better person, and always remind me that I am never alone. I have the greatest bunch of people walking right by my side. Because of them, I know love and life.

Brilliant People: Part 1 Guest Post

I have a select number of people who I consider to be my biggest inspirations in life. The essence of their effect on my life is that they further me as a person and challenge me to be bigger and better than I have ever been before.

I have contacted a select few of them to ask them what inspires them. That is one of the most interesting things to me - what drives the people that drive me? Everyone has their own form of motivation, inspirations and driving forces that push them into the future and into themselves.

Without further adieu, one of my first inspirations that I am going to share with you, Khanyi Mashiya - someone I have been friends with since grade five and am still close with today.

I asked her the following two questions, and these were her answers...

What and who are you inspired by and why?

I have 4 main inspirations in my life. Each that bring their own element to my being and dictate the person that I am and want to be.

1. Ellen Degeneres. She just has the ability to make me forget any problems that I'm going through when I watch her. She is the epitome of humility and generosity to me. She makes me want to be a better person and look at the world with a "who cares if the glass is half full or half empty, just drink the damn water!" sort of attitude.

2. The Buried Life cast. (Ben, Dave, Duncan, Jannie). They are 4 average out-of-college guys completing their own list of "100 Things to do before I die" and for everything they cross on their list they selflessly help a stranger cross something off their own. They just echo my philosophy of living your life without the hear of that is isn't what other's expect of you. They have no funds and give back with money they raise on their own. It just shows you don't have to be a "somebody" to change lives.

3) Jamar Rogers, a singer who was diagnosed with HIV/ Aids due to his past drug use. He is now clean and has one of the most loving personalities and beautiful outlooks on life. He simple speaks words of inspiration and motivation. He has helped rid me of some of the SOMETHING that I carried about Aids and shown me nothing can make this life worth not living.

4) My mom. She is my pillar and rock. She had me when she was pretty young, raise me, worked a job and still got through university without anyone's help. She has given most of her life to me. I love her even when I hate her and only hope to be as strong-minded and selfless as her.

What is your philosophy in life?

I believe that everything in life is complemented by what energy you give off, hence my solid affirmation in a little thing called "Karma". I  believe that what you put into this life is what you're going to get out of it. If you're sick and tired of something, shut up and actually do something about it! Lend a purpose to your existence on this earth. And as much as I would love to ramble on about the ideologies of Darwin and Beckett - I can't. Because I guess in some way my own philosophy of life isn't quite complete and concrete. It's kind of being edited every day. I'm a teenage, shoot me. So for now - 'YOLO' will do.

The World As Of Late

As much as I love my country, the one thing I wouldn't hesitate to change about it is its involvement in the festivity of halloween. (Can you describe halloween as being festive?)

If I had to provide a rating as to how involved our country gets in halloween, on a scale of one to ten, it's about negative eleven. I've seen and heard about so many halloween costumes from this year in so many countries all around the world (mainly America - obviously) and seriously, WHAT is up with pumpkin-flavoured-everything?! We don't even get that. I've yet to see a pumpkin - even in the supermarkets. Get your act together, South Africa.

As I haven't been making costumes and carving faces into vegetables, this is what I have been doing...

1. Finally getting my provisional-acceptance to the University of Cape Town.

2. Soaking up the sun when the weather isn't being bipolar.

3. Watching hail storms.

4. Trying to keep sane around insane people.

5. Kicking my own ass in bootcamp.

6. Eating celebratory sushi. (Yesterday, I finished maths FOREVER.)

7. Indulging in my daily dose of Mocha Frappe from McDonalds... it's happiness in a plastic cup - nothing more, and nothing less. If you haven't yet tried it - you haven't yet lived.

8. Studying (only just a bit...)

9. Skyping with the loveliest grandparents in the whole of the United Kingdom.

10. Spending the day with old friends at the racing-track nearby. Can I please be a professional car racer?

11. Drinking cocktails.

12. Playing the most annoying game you can get on any device - CandyShoot. I haven't been able to finish the last level for a couple of months now. This isn't an exaggeration.

One would think I'm not in the middle of finals.